On the eve of the apocalypse smoke from the canadian wildfires choked out the sun And still we drank beer and played bags In front of me sat my mother in a lawn chair One of the nice ones Beyond her a wall of haze We lost twice
I really like this. So THAT'S what you were writing. 🥰 If you want a critique, I think it would be improved by something like..... Why can't old people have fun playing a game AND keep track of their own score? At what age does your focus diminish so drastically that you have to choose between the two? At 26, I can write a poem AND have enough brain power left to keep track of THEIR score.
We lost
twice
I really like this. So THAT'S what you were writing. 🥰 If you want a critique, I think it would be improved by something like..... Why can't old people have fun playing a game AND keep track of their own score? At what age does your focus diminish so drastically that you have to choose between the two? At 26, I can write a poem AND have enough brain power left to keep track of THEIR score.